what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Your cock deserves a montage
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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