Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
