i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize