you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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