I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
