Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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