I met the friendliest cop last night
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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