i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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