You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
