Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
