I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
