Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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