we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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