mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
