It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
