this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
