yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
