i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
