yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
