They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
