For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
