arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
