maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
