your thong is hanging out like whoa
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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