i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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