what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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