Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
dude. I can hear the air.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
