I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
