you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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