UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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