sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
