Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
