yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
