we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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