My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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