You just made me feel so damn special
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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