I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
