sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
