party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
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i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
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As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah