so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
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You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
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Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.