She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
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All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are