Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work... http://tfl.nu/lwph
  Replies (29) Good night (4283) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1. http://tfl.nu/5eb0
  Replies (46) Good night (1801) Bad night (5691)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes http://tfl.nu/4ipy
  Replies (24) Good night (5278) Bad night (1479)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/cfj7
  Replies (7) Good night (3364) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin http://tfl.nu/l2xr
  Replies (11) Good night (5816) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you. http://tfl.nu/tfuz
  Replies (5) Good night (5214) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm http://tfl.nu/q9qn
  Replies (13) Good night (3158) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him... http://tfl.nu/2jr7
  Replies (10) Good night (2113) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag. http://tfl.nu/t9ek
  Replies (7) Good night (937) Bad night (1294)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?

  (585): View more from New York

  Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.

  (716): View more from New York

  .......

  (585): View more from New York

  I'm just looking out for you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday? (585): Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change. (716): ....... (585): I'm just looking out for you. http://tfl.nu/cj8v
  Replies (16) Good night (2399) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor... (262): I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho. http://tfl.nu/4nj6
  Replies (8) Good night (1376) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?! http://tfl.nu/61is
  Replies (4) Good night (526) Bad night (206)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books. (608): I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night. http://tfl.nu/nd7e
  Replies (0) Good night (617) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands... http://tfl.nu/z4i5
  Replies (2) Good night (238) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer. http://tfl.nu/u2pr
  Replies (2) Good night (345) Bad night (208)

Randomize