Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night

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(203): I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night http://tfl.nu/hkfs

Replies (43) Good night (10292) Bad night (3200)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.

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(708): Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now. http://tfl.nu/4cfq

Replies (55) Good night (7458) Bad night (1192)
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(915): View more from Texas

Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.

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(915): Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding. http://tfl.nu/j8kt

Replies (5) Good night (2023) Bad night (774)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed

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(336): There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed http://tfl.nu/1ryb

Replies (4) Good night (1508) Bad night (959)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.

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(403): Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon. http://tfl.nu/v8j0

Replies (2) Good night (2177) Bad night (1153)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.

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(417): Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go. http://tfl.nu/8zsf

Replies (15) Good night (2182) Bad night (861)
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(213): View more from California

I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.

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(213): I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing. http://tfl.nu/4hkr

Replies (1) Good night (900) Bad night (2480)
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(619): View more from California

I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.

(1-619): View more from California

Very innocently.

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(619): I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend. (1-619): Very innocently. http://tfl.nu/o8xf

Replies (19) Good night (3158) Bad night (766)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.

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(336): he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever. http://tfl.nu/31ik

Replies (16) Good night (690) Bad night (2368)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.

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(843): I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow. http://tfl.nu/m6rb

Replies (3) Good night (846) Bad night (367)
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(415): View more from California

If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will

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(415): If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will http://tfl.nu/eboo

Replies (4) Good night (1092) Bad night (437)
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(315): View more from New York

not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.

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(315): not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears. http://tfl.nu/mw0m

Replies (10) Good night (1172) Bad night (385)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.

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(505): i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me. http://tfl.nu/ohrd

Replies (3) Good night (437) Bad night (851)
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(530): View more from California

Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.

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(530): Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery. http://tfl.nu/qyfd

Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (707)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas

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(808): I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas http://tfl.nu/8d4j

Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (749)

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