escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.