Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it