I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa