That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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