She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
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Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
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I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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