love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
