out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
