they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
