Swine flu. Run for my life!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
