you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize