this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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