Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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