She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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