Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
