I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
