you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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