How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
