hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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