8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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