I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
