My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
