He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
