Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
