he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
