I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize