OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
