I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
