The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The power of my boobs compel you
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
