After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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