Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
