i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
