My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
