When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
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He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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