Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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