Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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