i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
