clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
